"Hey Brandon,
Which one is it?
She really is a hen, just loud, right? You know we don't want a rooster!
But we might consider taking her ... our neighbors won't care, we've already got roosters that live behind us! Tell Sarena to talk to me about it…"

"Does anyone know the names of rescue sites or phone numbers?"

"If she's not lonely, then there is nothing you can do. Looks like you might have to find her a new home if you want to stay on the good side of the powers that be. Or, if she's a decent size...she'd make a fine pot of chicken and dumplings!"

"Been there done that.
My crowing "hen" turned out to be a rooster. Donated him to one of the local rooster rescue groups here in town."